FUNNY STORIES THAT WILL MAKE YOU ROLL!!!
And they are TRUE!!!!
OH MY SWEET JESUS!! READ THIS!!!!
REMEMBER I AM A NURSE SO NOTHING BOTHERS ME!!!
Roy ate some fried livers from F-----y G---s, well that night he started feeling sick, he went to running a temperature and looked SICK, he said Linda I think I have food poisioning, the next day he was so sick in bed, he went to bathroom and sit on the thrown and had the trash can you could here brrrrrrrrrrr splash (UNDIGESTED CHICKEN LIVERS) in both thrown and trash can, he went back to bed, we did not have health insurance, so he can not go to the doctor, nor do we have burrial insurance so he couldn't die, I went out to the yard and cut some stalks of grass, came in to the bedroom and said here Roy chew and eat this grass, he said WHAT??? (I believe in home remidies) I said well when our dogs are sick they eat grass and whirl the chud and clean their stomachs out and they get well.
We eat off our land so if you eat supper with me, don't ask!!
I had a couple over and we grilled out. I had some pretty meat seasoning in some French dressing. We grilled and during desert (pineapple upside inside out around cake) my lady guest said gosh Linda that chicken was delicious in the French dressing marinating, I looked at her and said well, we didn't grill chicken honey, that was soft shell turtle and raccoon. Now for some reason, everytime I invite them to get together, and grill, they invite us to go out and eat????
My experience with the incubator, oh heavens, it was a hell of a mess. I got my fathers incubator I was young, and I had a couple chickens, so I put the eggs in the incubator and plugged it up, I thought I was going to start me a chicken farm, Laughing, well time went by, and went to look at the eggs and lord behold there was chickens, these chickens heads were turned back wards, one had feet for ears, one kept doing flips, one ---- well you get the point, so I thought I had come up with my own chicken genetic line, needless did I know incubators had instructions and temperature along with humidity settings.
The exhusband, Oh my lord this is a series of rolling so get ready,
I had a six week check up after the birth of Matt, Jr. kept Matt while I went to appointment. Well I arrived home there was clothes on every line of the clothes line, went in, Jr. said "honey I hung out all the laundry", hmmmm, did you wash them, no they were in the clothes basket???? SO, you hung out ALL the dirty clothes!!! He had changed Matt's diper and it was inside out and up side down yeah a PAMPER!!!
Came home, Jr. was on couch kicked back, I said, Jr. what have you done all day, He said, well I cut grass, don't the yard look better? I said where, he said the whole one acre yard, I said well it probally would have helped if you would have put the blade in cutting gear to have cut the grass on MOMMA's riding lawn mower!!!!!
I asked, Jr. will you put the quart of oil in my car, Jr. said yeah, so got dressed for work and went out to crank car, there is the oil carton thrown down at the wheel of my car at the gas tank side, I picked it up, I got to thinking why was it throwed there, I asked, Jr. did you put the oil in my car, yeah linda, well where did you put it, in with the gas like your dad does in the chainsaw.
The other exhusband, was ranting and raving throwing a temper tamture, there was a cumalong hanging in the shop that you pull motors etc. with, he grabbed it and swung it and turned around still yelling at me and it swung back hitting him in the back of the head knocking him out cold that shut him up and I left him laying RIGHT THERE!! Yeah, I almost peed my pants laughing all the way to the back door.
OKAY, I bought some duck last year from McMurray one of those packages where you get quailty ducks, but what ever they send, okay, we had two Black Sweedish, well the tail feather turned-curled on one and Roy said, oh look we got a pair, and they were fornacating, well I told Roy, no the other one has a turned, but small crooked tail feather, me and him argued over these ducks, well I WON, ROY said, oh my god, we have GAY ducks, they got to go before they teach the other ducks about gaytizem, and we don't get no eggs.
I just don't understand people, Roy ask me what are you doing in there (in study room/office), I said answering all these email inquiries, he comes back, what are you doing now, I said the same thing, I start telling him, Roy, I recieve 25 emails on average here lately asking questions on different things, for example:
Q.--What is a Pekin duck, and if I decide that is the duck I want, do you have any for sale?
A.--Well I sit typing all the things and my experience about a Pekin duck.
Same person from that email replies back:
Q--What is a Mallard duck, and if I decide that is the duck I want, do you have any for sale?
A.---Same thing about the Mallard duck.
That same person replied with same question about another duck, well do you know how many duck breeds I have, jesus, I didn't want to copy and paste and commit copy right violations, but I am going to have to say and honestly say
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE GOOGLE SEARCH INGINE AND DICTIONARY.COM??
So, I tell Roy, for some reason, people were emailing me with straight drama questions that they could find thereselves with google search box, well then I started politly emailing back, to these people to please google but if I could assist I would be more than glad too, do you know one lady emailed me 26 times, and said she couldn't find anything on a Pekin, and she hated to be a bother, but she needed assistance. Well then they start calling 20 calls a day, and it is all I can do to be polite and not say YOU MORON, what is your mental capacity?? You don't need a duck, you need a BRAIN!! There is not enough time in a day with our farm, animals, family, and jobs to answer these kind of calls and emails, I wish I could, but there is just NO way.
USE THE GOOGLE SEARCH BOX, GOOGLE WHAT YOU ARE RESEARCHING, THEN ASK FOR HELP.